First snow of the season came today, which to me seems surprisingly early. So early in fact that I hadn’t raked the leaves from my yard and driveway and so I was forced to hurriedly disburse them before heading to work.
After jumpstarting my lawn tractor I proceeded to drive in circles blowing the leaves to the perimeter and into the woods. Round and round I went in a frantic leaf blowing frenzy and as if a prophetic sign from above the sleety snow began falling just as I finished the last of the leaf disbursement. So started the first day of my 61st year.
Sixty, there was nothing scary about turning sixty. The fact is sixty freed me to be me in ways that seemed unattainable in my younger years. The freedom has perhaps come from my aloneness and the time for self-reflection that has come from the aloneness.
It seems that at sixty I have given myself permission to do mostly what I want to do and to avoid things that aren’t true to my moral compass. There are my almost daily conversations with God where I might occasionally lament the lack of a man in my life (among other things) but mostly and surprisingly I am at peace. Daily there is just me and God… just me and God on a Friday night putzing, painting and watching Shark Tank. Just me and God Saturday morning going to the dump and then to the sawmill to pick up rough-cut lumber for whatever project is underway. Just me and God over coffee each morning and just me and God day-after-day.
Now I don’t mean to imply that I am completely alone. I have children – two wonderful (really great) sons – and I work full-time and teach watercolor painting from time-to-time. I’ve got friends (more than I deserve) and family. I’ve got two cats and a dozen chickens. My life is full to be sure, but most assuredly when things all boil down to the bare truth I know I am walking this earthly journey alone or to be more precise… it’s just me and God.
As I plunge head first into my 61st year I reflect and acknowledge that my life isn’t what I expected or hoped it would be way back when but make no mistake it is a good life with many blessings beyond counting.