A Country Home, Pencil, Image Size 2.75"x4.75"
I drove past my neighbor’s red house last weekend on the way to Wal-Mart. Tom told me that the previous day, when he passed by, there was a screen room type tent erected on the front lawn. When I’d passed by their house earlier in the week I hadn’t noticed.
I still check in on the Brown’s from time-to-time, but since all the bright colored plastic things were hauled away the house is quiet most days. The heavy drapes are always drawn, even in the middle of the day. Every now and then I catch a glimpse of a dark-haired woman resembling Mrs. Brown, but I’m almost certain it isn’t her.
There have been some subtle changes around the house in the last few weeks. An infant swing is now hung from the branch of a large tree in the front yard. On another day I saw a young girl, about five years old, and a young boy, around three years old, hanging around outside near the kitchen door. How big they’ve gotten.
So this past Sunday morning as Tom and I drove by, there was father, daughter and son sitting at a table under the screen room tent. They seemed to be having breakfast. No brown-haired woman was sitting at the table.
It seems pretty plain to me that the Brown’s have gone their separate ways and are still connected through the kids, of course.
I know divorce happens all to frequently these days. I am, myself, divorced and now remarried. Unfortunately, when a family breaks apart it makes no difference whether the “kids” are small or grown, emotional pain and feelings of insecurity are sure to be the result.
A strain will follow and infiltrate all future family milestones – graduations, marriages, births. It’s unavoidable, unless anger and bitterness are put aside on all counts.
I believe the best approach is to make the right partner choice from the start. Being as sure as you can be that you’ve chosen a person you wouldn’t mind having around for a lifetime. I know that people can change, but core beliefs and values typically don’t. Certain differences can make a relationship interesting, but your values and ideals – the things that are most important to you – should not be compromised.
I feel sad for the children. The ideal intact family, like the one I grew up in, is not a reality for them, my own children and for millions of other kids all around the world. The relationships they eventually settle into have a good chance of mirroring the brokenness they witnessed.
I don’t know what the answers really are, but making an informed choice based based on love, honesty, respect and communication are a good start. Not a decision based on passion and lust in the heat of a moment or two.
My “friends” in the red house, I wish you well and pray you’ll be guided by the love you both have for the children. You owe it to them, they are your responsibility and your treasure. [Click here to read all "The Red House" posts]
