Posts Tagged ‘God’
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
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Time to rip it out!
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Corner cabinet in!
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Caution Work Zone
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Make shift kitchen
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I can feel it coming together
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Man working!
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Looking real good!
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Tom is gettin the job done!
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Sink fits - that's a good thing
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Call the cops! Someone stole our old and ratty kitchen cabinets!
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Impressive-Tom really knew what he was doing!
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Awesome, a sink full of dishes!
Our kitchen renovation is pretty much complete. It looks so nice that I’d almost forgotten our reason for renovating was to put the house up for sale. Then I remembered . . . it’s time to move onto some new adventure that I am sure is waiting. Yes, I remembered and now comes the hardest part of the whole process - letting go.
Letting go demands we say yes, no and goodbye. Our action - this letting go - helps to prepare the groundwork for new connections to be established, adventures to be experienced and dreams to materialize. Letting go of a known, safe circumstance (good or bad) and stepping off into the unknown is frightening, but saying no to letting go can halt this process of growth altogether and keep us from our dreams.
There’s no doubt that playing it safe and staying put would be easier. The question then becomes am I willing to sacrifice my dreams for things, stuff, possessions or a certain geographic location?
I admit that it would be easier to turn away from an uncertain future and accept the status quo, but I cannot. My soul is crying out for something else and this, I believe, is where God is stepping in to take me by the hand and lead me blindly through the maze toward some other place. By faith I will put my hand in His and trust.
I understand that this new place will come with it’s own challenges and disappointments, but challenge and disappointment will come to us no matter where we reside. When the time comes to deal with problems or detours, again, I will rely on my faith in God, with support from my family and friends, to carry me through.
“Let Go, Let God,” the saying goes. I believe there’s more to it than that. Let go and let God, but God doesn’t work alone. I need to listen to my inner voice and the stirrings of my soul and let go of what is not working in my life. To say so is easy, but the time is at hand for big changes and I fear more my fate if this window of opportunity is not seized upon.
For now I’m trusting God to orchestrate the sale of our house at just the right time and to illuminate our path, but first we need to Let Go, Let God and Do Our Part.
It won’t be long now until the sign goes up, “For Sale, 10 Wooded Acres, Deep Well.”
 Impressive-Tom really knew what he was doing!
Tags: Faith, God, Moving
Posted in Day-to-Day | 1 Comment »
Sunday, January 24th, 2010
Sometimes in life we’re faced with hard decisions. Actually, life is filled with decisions that challenge us. This “radical move” that we’re preparing for is just one of those tough choices. I didn’t realize how difficult this planned move would be, but as I watch the kitchen renovation unfold my home becomes more endearing to me and my heart strings are being tugged.
Somewhere deep down I know that a BIG change is the only thing that will promote the personal, spiritual and economic growth that has been held back here for sometime. Nonetheless that knowledge doesn’t appease the tugging and pulling that is taking place inside my head and heart. My logical thinking brain tells me that what we have here is a nice, private place filled with solitude and nothing will change for us if we stay. It’s my conviction and desire for a life change that is fueling this impending move.
This decision is one of the hardest conscious decisions I’ll ever make. Purposely letting go of something you love is hard. My usual approach is to wait and see what happens, watching while others make decisions that impact my life. Waiting and being the victim or beneficiary of the decisions of others is an approach that can work at times. But I’m beginning to see that there is much greater benefit to the proactive approach.
I don’t know for sure where this path will lead me, but staying and accepting the status quo feels wrong. I know there’s so much more out there. More of what I’m not sure, but what I’m hoping for is more time to live a life authentic to my creative nature, more interaction with others and, of course, more opportunity for prosperity.
There is a price for all the decisions we make. There’s risk involved and there is no guarantee of a desired outcome. What I do know is that I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to make this hard decision into a positive experience, while accepting whatever detours are thrown into my path and doing my part so God’s plan can unfold.
I have faith that somehow this letting go will be the right decision and I’ll see that truth when my path has been trod and I look back over my travels. For now though it’s one small step at a time and no looking back.
Tags: Faith, God, Moving
Posted in Day-to-Day | 1 Comment »
Monday, January 18th, 2010
I’m discovering that in my life the time has come for some kind of significant change. Something deep inside is urging me toward a new place with new challenges. Both the place and the challenges are yet to be determined though I do have some idea the direction I’d like to go.
I’ve no doubt that fear and uncertainty may attempt to derail my plan for change. In the end I know that God will fund me with the courage necessary to push past the fear and embrace a new adventure. I’m 54 years old, cancer has touch my life more than once - it’s time for radical moves.
I remember the day Tom and I first drove out Route 20 to check out this place. Tom discovered a small ad in the Sunday Classifieds and asked, “How about this one Honey?” Simply stated, the ad said, “For Sale By Owner, 10 Wooded Acres, Deep Well.”
All those things would prove to be true and there would many not so welcome surprises we’d discover later. As we turned left off Route 30A onto this private, dead end road, grass could be seen growing down the center “line.” Private, not frequently traveled and just what we were looking for back then.
Our “rose-colored glasses” prevented us from seeing what was really here - a real fixer upper! We were so ecstatic to be new homeowners that the crudely homemade kitchen cabinets, aged carpet from the 1970’s and wallpaper affixed to every wall and ceiling throughout the entire house could not dampen our enthusiasm. We could not be deterred and we weren’t.
Moving in lock, stock and barrel in November of 2000, we’ve almost rescued the place from the “tacky wallpaper Gods.” Now all these years later it’s time to move onto something new. The prospect of this radical move is both exciting and daunting. What’s more there are things that need doing before our house can be put up for sale.
Tom has begun to tackle the unfinished kitchen and with expert hands he will have it to completion within a week or so. Perhaps we’ll slap on a coat of paint here and there. Plus I need to complete or paint over a mural that has remained unfinished for literally years. All this just in time to post a “for sale” sign. How bittersweet these feelings that are emerging as we make ready to say goodbye to this place we’ve called home for more than nine years.
While this move will be a good thing there is no doubt we will miss this place beyond measure, but the forces deep inside my soul calling out for something new are powerful. While I could just sit and wait for something to happen I know that God doesn’t work alone. We are full of desire, will and creative gifts God put into our hands to be nurtured and used for good. These days I choose to listen, watch, act and trust that these changes will lead me to a life better aligned with the urgings of my spirit. Chasing the fear away I opt for a new adventure.
It’s time to finish the kitchen, pack our bags, make radical moves and remember the profound words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us.”
Tags: God, Life Changes, Moving
Posted in Day-to-Day | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
 Conrad & Bethy are in love and are a truly great team. My Thanksgiving Day 2009 started early with my granddaughter, Grace, getting up around 7:30 a.m.ish (yes 7:30 a.m. is early for me). Not wanting to miss a moment, I hauled myself out of bed and into the kitchen to get the coffee brewing.
“Mama” and “Dada” reported that Gracie likes pancakes so, in an attempt to secure a position of eternal affection, I prepared a batch from scratch using a recipe in the Good Housekeeping Cookbook my Grandma Flax gave me many years ago. After breakfast we played, napped, then cleaned up and dressed for our trip to Bethy and Conrad’s, where we’d be converging with the rest of the family for a turkey dinner and all the fixin’s. The morning flew by and it wasn’t long before it was time to head out.
Our contingent was the first to arrive. The house was warm and inviting, filled with Thanksgiving - roasting turkey, sausage stuffing, cranberry stuffing, potatoes boiling and a variety of wonderful aromas combined into the perfect holiday blend. The house was decked out for the season with a pumpkin and turkey motif in shades of autumn orange. A bonus included a prelude to Christmas in a tree Conrad had decorated and placed perfectly in a corner of the living room.
Bet and Conrad were at the door when we arrived sharing welcoming hugs and hellos all around. It wouldn’t be long before the rest of the family would arrive and the house was filled with chitchat, appetizers and a beverage or two of your choice. The house was in a constant state of movement with little people scurrying around the house together with big people close behind giving chase.
When the turkey was cooked to perfection, Bethy and Conrad worked their impeccable timing to present piping hot turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, corn, cranberries, dinner rolls and more. . . Dinner’s on! There was enough food to feed a small army! After our plates were filled and we settled into our respective spots at the dinner table, hands were held while Conrad gave thanks to God for our blessings and abundance.
 Conrad - Starting a Thanksgiving Tradition It was a nice surprise when Conrad followed up the blessing with his own list of personal gratitudes: for his partner and wife, for his children, for the magic of the season found in Santa and Jesus. . . . then passing the baton to Bethy who gave her thanks, then to Joshua, then Brenda, then Jason, then me, then Tom and then to Michael, who with his hand upon the head of his little daughter found the words would not come. While choking back tears of gratitude for this newest family member at the Thanksgiving table, Conrad added on Michael’s behalf, “In the silence, thunder can be heard.” We sat around and listened as each of us in his or her turn expressed heartfelt and emotional proclamations of thanks and gratitude. By the time the last word was spoken, tears were being wiped away out of pure and overwhelming appreciation.
That is really what the season is all about - giving thanks, openly with genuine feelings of thankfulness and recognition that we are not alone. I’ll always remember this Thanksgiving for the emotions it stirred - missing those who were not seated at the table and being thankful for those who were seated there.
I can still feel the moment and wish those feelings would linger for a while and perhaps resurface when the day-to-day stuff seems just too much to bear. What a fine day. This is a day I’ll surely not forget.
Tags: Family, family values, God, Gratitude, Thanksgiving
Posted in Day-to-Day | 2 Comments »
Saturday, October 17th, 2009
 Tomorrow these Tees will be filled with people, all of whom have been touched by cancer in some way, raising funds to find a cure. Cancer. Cancer is frightening, there’s no doubt about it, and there was a time when I avoided even saying the word . . . “cancer.” And then in 1996 we were forced to say the word, “cancer” and deal with the disease. Cancer has touched our lives several times. First my father, then my mother, then me and most recently, my sister.
My father was diagnosed in 1996 after finding a large melanoma on his thigh. This cancer would be surgically removed and only then would we know the full extent of this cancer’s attack on our father and on our lives. I remember waiting with my sister and mother at St. Peter’s Hospital while the surgery was underway, with an unspoken question, “How far had it spread?” Once the surgery was complete, the doctor reported that a large area had been excavated in order to find “clear margins,” but they felt they’d gotten it all. My Dad has been monitored closely since then and keeps yearly appointments with his oncologist without recurrence. Thank God.
After that, again in 1996, my Mumzie, with uterine (endometrial) cancer now more than 13 years ago. We knew it was serious and Ma was scheduled for a hysterectomy. Ma’s surgery confirmed what we had hoped, that the cancer had been found early and that the cancer had not spread. She, too, has been monitored closely by her gynecological oncologist, without recurrence, Thank God.
By the time I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in the fall of 2007 our family had been touch twice before and the word “cancer” had become a part of our vocabulary. My cancer was discovered when I started having some bleeding, hardly noticeable, yet I knew it was unusual. My instincts told me that I needed to get this checked out and I did. Procrastination could have been life-threatening and I somehow knew that I should act quickly. After a full abdominal hysterectomy and three rounds of radiation I too have regular appointments with my gynecological oncologist. Without recurrence, Thank God.
Finally, last year in September, my sister, was diagnosed with breast cancer detected during a routine mammogram. The tumor was small and a lumpectomy was scheduled. Diagnostic tests were required to pin-point the exact location of the tumor, followed by a lumpectomy and a marathon of appointments to administer the eight rounds of chemotherapy and six weeks of radiation needed to eradicate this cancer. This cancer was aggressive and would be handled with an aggressive treatment. This past year has been a year of talking about cancer, saying the word and dealing with the reality that comes with a cancer diagnosis. Bet has just past the first milestone in her recovery and followup lifestyle, three months after her last radiation treatment an appointment with her oncologist, without recurrence, Thank God.
Cancer has changed us. Cancer. . . we now say it more easily, but are very aware of the life-changing effect it can have. Cancer has made us more aware of how precious life can be. Cancer has made us appreciate one another more. Cancer has prompted all of us to make life changes, while enjoying the here and now. Cancer has made us activists and fundraisers. No more armchair quarterbacking for us.
With a commitment to find a cure we will don our “Save The Ta-Tas” Tees (that’s our team name) and walk to raise money for cancer research tomorrow at our local event “The American Cancer Society 2009 Making Strides” in Albany, New York. I’m sure a cure can be found and it’s up to us to help in any way we can.
We speak of cancer, we walk to find a cure for cancer, cancer has changed us in profound ways.
Tags: cancer, Family, God
Posted in Day-to-Day, Health and Fitness | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
 At the end of the day we all stand gazing at our prized pumpkins with great pride. My sister and her husband (Bethy & Conrad) have been hosting an annual Pumpkin Carving party for more years than I can recall. It’s always a much anticipated event for me. It’s one of those events that creates wonderful memories for every generation of family and friends in attendance. It’s a BYOP (Bring Your Own Pumpkin) affair with food, drink and laughter in abundance.
Each year brings back memories of the previous year’s gathering. Last fall the carving party was hosted by my brother, Patrick. His son was home on leave from Afghanistan and my sister, Bethy, had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. It seems hard to believe it was just one year ago and sounds so simple, these life changing events, condensed into just a single, short paragraph.
Now one year later Chris is back from Afghanistan and Bethy has just passed her first “three month check,” after a lumpectomy, eight torturous rounds of chemotherapy plus weeks and weeks of radiation. One year later Chris will be home and Bethy’s hair has begun to grow back into a beautiful curly top of silver.
I’ve learned that life can change in a moment. Just when you’re looking to the north, life drags you south. One moment joy, one moment testing, one moment laughter, one moment grief. I’ve found that the best way for me to deal with all this uncertainty is by faith. Faith in God, faith in family, faith in friends, faith that in the next moment things will be different. One important thing to remember is - wherever life takes you there are decisions to be made and not making a decision is a decision.
This year as we gathered again at Bethy and Conrad’s it was more than just carving pumpkins. I suppose it always was more than carving pumpkins. But this year as we all stood around the table in the cool autumn air, vibrant foliage creating a perfect backdrop, we carved our orange squash, first hollowing, then designing and finally remembering last year when things were so uncertain.
I know that life can be tough at times and the best we can do is pick the perfect pumpkin, lovingly carve it and once done place it on the stoop with all the rest and wait for sundown.
At the end of the night as we gaze at our prized pumpkins, each with a warm glow streaming from all the right spots, we stand side-by-side telling each other how nice their pumpkin looks and what a great job they did . . . supportive, loving and together.
Thank God for pumpkins.
Tags: Faith, Family, God
Posted in Day-to-Day | 1 Comment »
Thursday, September 10th, 2009
I’m here to do a little more confessing (see previous confessions on March 16, 2009, June 9, 2009 and July 29, 2009). But first I want to be inspiring, or more accurately, convey an inspiring story.
I worked with a woman a few years ago who went onto gainful employment with another firm. I hadn’t seen her in quite sometime and while strolling through the Farmers’ Market in Downtown Albany a few Thursdays ago, our paths crossed. Honestly I don’t think I would have recognized her until she said, “Lorraine. . . !” She’d lost 110 pounds since last October!
Of course, I asked how she’d done it and the only thing I really remember her saying is that it was, “Torture!” or something to that effect. I gave her a “once over” and a “twice over” while asking more questions, following up with an email full of more questions. She told me she lost the weight with the help of one of those “programs.” You know, the ones that cost buco bucks and advertise “Results Not Typical” with every success story. She said that if I was interested. . .
Anyway, since I’d fallen off the wagon, yet again, in my most recent attempt to lose weight and exercise (my confession) her success began to inspire me. Maybe the time has come to restart, recommit and renew. For real this time.
I have a question though before I begin. Does the fact that I know a successful dieter mean my odds of losing weight myself become less likely? You know. . . kinda like the lottery. Once you know a winner. . . Should I just quit now and accept all this extra baggage? After all I’m not looking for a man and my breeding days are behind me.
You’re right. . . No giving up.
As I begin to rally my internal motivation I realize the real “torture” is in having an unhealthy relationship with food. God provided food to nourish our bodies and keep us healthy. I believe my overindulgence points to a deeper spiritual issue, an attempt to fill a void in some area of my life. The key then becomes trying to determine just what is missing and then to start filling that emptiness with something else. Something healthier and more satisfying, something that doesn’t assault my body.
While I try to figure out just what maybe missing, I will begin again. I know that “results not typical” does not mean that I am doomed to fail. It just means that this problem will require a real commitment from me.
Am I ready this time? I know one thing for sure, I’m not ready to give up. So, yes, I’m ready for untypical results that only I have the power to produce.
Tags: Exercise and Fitness, God, Healthy Living
Posted in God & Faith, Health and Fitness | 4 Comments »
Friday, July 3rd, 2009
Thursday morning on my way to work I spotted an American Bald Eagle. I’ve never seen one in the “wild” before - only at the zoo in a cage. What an awesome sight. I was astonished and pulled the car over so I could (more…)
Tags: Faith, God
Posted in Day-to-Day, God & Faith | No Comments »
Friday, June 26th, 2009
There have been too many goodbyes this week. Some I felt I knew personally, but didn’t - Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson - and one I met a time or two, but didn’t know at all either - Sue. Three taken by cancer and one, they say, from cardiac arrest.
Sue died on Saturday. She was a friend of a friend and we’d only met a couple of times, briefly. I didn’t know her at all really except that she was fighting cancer and wearing a wig to cover her head balded from the chemotherapy. Though Sue was living in the shadow of cancer, she still seemed to be determined to enjoy her life, socializing with friends, laughing, chatting and dancing. This is all I really knew about Sue. She was an acquaintance, but when I found out she died on Saturday, I began to cry.
And now the others we’ve lost - famous and familiar. Their stories so public that I needn’t rehash them here.
I cry for those we’ve lost, for those left here to grieve and for the mere fragility and shortness of life here on this earth.
As I’ve gotten older I think more about my own mortality and how important it is to solidify my faith and personal beliefs. And now seeing these familiar faces pass onto their next journey it prompts another round of taking stock and determining just what is important and a setting of priorities. Even more than that though, living each day as if your life depends upon it and doing your very best while treating others with love and kindness.
I know this is an uncomfortable subject, but death is a part of living and living in fear keeps us in bondage by limiting our experiences. My beliefs and philosophies about life are still being molded through study, reading and experience, but each day I become more certain that God is real.
I believe life should be lived with joy and gusto and the challenges that are thrown your way should be met with determination, perseverance and courage. Each one of us is here to help the other if needed.
I’ll try not to dwell on all this loss, but I do consider this a reminder to make the very most of every moment.
Tags: Faith, God
Posted in News, Our World, Things to Consider | 2 Comments »
Thursday, May 14th, 2009
 Neighborhood Watch, Original Pencil - I believe our job is to be watchful, listen and then do something good. I’ve been feeling a little down lately - just the last few days. I’ve come to realize that emotional highs and lows are a part of life’s natural cycle. Each experience is designed to teach you something, if you’re paying attention.
Accepting and working through those down times has always been a real challenge for me. I’ve recently tried to develop a strategy for pushing through artistic lows, but this isn’t a creative slump. It feels different and just when I began to feel even more alone and discouraged, I checked my email and found that God’s been on it all along. Let me explain. . .
I subscribe to Joel Osteen’s “Today’s Word,” and amazingly, today’s message is entitled, “Overcoming Difficult Times.” How timely. Just when I needed wisdom to draw on and move me into the light - there it was.
I know that Joel Osteen’s messages aren’t the only means God uses to communicate. Messages can come to you through the lyrics of a song, words of counsel from a trusted source (like your mother), a bright, red Cardinal tapping on your window (I’ll explain that one later) or your daily horoscope. It’s our job to be watchful, open and to listen.
I can see now that this feeling of discouragement stems from a loss of faith. I’d forgotten that God is on it. Our job is to do our best, with kindness, joy and confidence that God is still “in the driver’s seat” and has big things in store.
In the future each time discouragement begins to take hold, I will proclaim with confidence, “God is on it!” Don’t forget, God really is on it and doesn’t like to work alone so be sure to do your best with kindness, joy and confidence.
Tags: Animal Drawing, God
Posted in Day-to-Day, Things to Consider, Unconventional Wisdom | 2 Comments »
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