Posts Tagged ‘Faith’

Letting Go

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Our kitchen renovation is pretty much complete.   It looks so nice that I’d almost forgotten our reason for renovating was to put the house up for sale.  Then I remembered . . . it’s time to move onto some new adventure that I am sure is waiting.  Yes, I remembered and now comes the hardest part of the whole process  -  letting go.

Letting go demands we say yes,  no and goodbye.  Our action - this letting go - helps to prepare the groundwork for new connections to be established, adventures to be experienced and dreams to materialize.   Letting go of a known, safe circumstance (good or bad) and stepping off into the unknown is frightening, but saying no to letting go can halt this process of  growth altogether and keep us from our dreams.

There’s no doubt that playing it safe and staying put would be easier.  The question then becomes am I willing to sacrifice my dreams for things, stuff, possessions or a certain geographic location?

I admit that it would be easier to turn away from an uncertain future and accept the status quo, but I cannot.  My soul is crying out for something else and this, I believe, is where God is stepping in to take me by the hand and lead me blindly through the maze toward some other place.  By faith I will put my hand in His and trust.

I understand that this new place will come with it’s own challenges and disappointments, but challenge and disappointment will come to us no matter where we reside.  When the time comes to deal with problems or detours, again, I will rely on my faith in God, with  support from my family  and friends, to carry me through.

“Let Go, Let God,” the saying goes.  I believe there’s more to it than that.   Let go and let God, but God doesn’t work alone.   I need to listen to my inner voice and the stirrings of my soul and let go of what is not working in my life.  To say so is easy, but the time is at hand for big changes and I fear more my fate if this window of opportunity is not seized upon.

For now I’m trusting God to orchestrate the sale of our house at just the right time and to illuminate our path, but first we need to Let Go, Let God and Do Our Part.

It won’t be long now until the sign goes up, “For Sale, 10 Wooded Acres, Deep Well.”

Impressive-Tom really knew what he was doing!

Impressive-Tom really knew what he was doing!

Hard Decisions

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

Sometimes in life we’re faced with hard decisions. Actually, life is filled with decisions that challenge us.  This “radical move” that we’re preparing for is just one of those tough choices.  I didn’t realize how difficult this planned move would be, but as I watch the kitchen renovation unfold my home becomes more endearing to me and my heart strings are being tugged.

Somewhere deep down I know that a BIG change is the only thing that will promote the personal, spiritual and economic growth that has been held back here for sometime.   Nonetheless that knowledge doesn’t appease the tugging and pulling that is taking place inside my head and heart.   My logical thinking brain tells me that what we have here is a nice, private place filled with solitude and nothing will change for us if we stay.   It’s my conviction and desire for a life change that is fueling this impending move.

This decision is one of the hardest conscious decisions I’ll ever make.  Purposely letting go of something you love is hard.  My usual approach is to wait and see what happens, watching while others make decisions that impact my life.  Waiting and being the victim or beneficiary of the decisions of others is an  approach that can work at times.   But I’m beginning to see that there is much greater benefit to the proactive approach.

I don’t know for sure where this path will lead me, but staying and accepting the status quo feels wrong.  I know there’s so much more out there.   More of what I’m not sure, but what I’m hoping for is more time to live a life authentic to my creative nature,  more interaction with others and, of course, more opportunity for prosperity.

There is a price for all the decisions we make.   There’s risk involved and there is no guarantee of a desired outcome.  What I do know is that I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to make this hard decision into a positive experience, while accepting whatever detours are thrown into my path and doing my part so God’s plan can unfold.

I have faith that somehow this letting go will be the right decision and I’ll see that truth when my path has been trod and I look back over my travels.  For now though it’s one small step at a time and no looking back.

On Second Thought

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
Now, I ask you, "How can I complain when I'm the mother of two great young men and the cutest ladybug this side of the Mississippi?!"

Now, I ask you, "How can I complain when I'm the mother of two great young men and grandmother to the cutest ladybug on either side of the Mississippi?!"

Yesterday I intended to post a blog that was filled with complaints like, “My life sucks,” or “Oh me, poor me.”  I was, of course, intending to weave a little humor into it, but for the most part it was going to be negative - with a smile.

When I got home to find that our Wildblue Internet connection was down I realized that maybe the “My Life Sucks” post was not the best idea I’ve ever had, and perhaps divine intervention was at work to stop me from spewing forth negativity when in truth I have so much to be grateful for.

Earlier in the day my friend and coworker, AB, and I had decided we were going to find one thing each morning that we are grateful for and say it out loud.   Since we were going to wait until the following morning, I was free to complain until then.

Now, on second thought, I realize that no good can come from constant complaints.  Solutions will elude the complainer and negativity breeds negativity.   So today I’ll not complain, but give thanks and gratitude.  While I have loads of things that I am grateful for I’d like to focus first on the blessings that come from being a mother.

As you may already know, I am the mother of two grown sons (twins).  Both are “good kids,” though they are not really kids anymore in the sense of being youngsters, but they will always be my kids.  I was young when they were born and they turned out to be great people in spite of my inexperience and me.

They taught me lessons in loving deeply, finding joy in the mundane and stepping up to your responsibilities.  They taught me to be a better person.  Of course, with most everything in life there comes regrets.   Why wasn’t I more patient, why didn’t we linger longer in the park, why didn’t I do more of this or that just for fun?

I’ll stop right there because today is not a day for regrets, but a day for gratitude and I can honestly say that now that my kids are grown I continue to derive immense joy from watching them live their lives.

For all these reasons I am grateful today to be my kids’ mother.

Save The Ta-Tas and Save Lives

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
Here's our team!  Our small group raised $625!

Here's our team! Our small group raised $625!

My alarm went off at around 6ish on Saturday morning.  Set to our local country music station, I was loudly seranaded by the Statler Brothers singing, “Elizabeth.”  How appropriate, for that day I’d be walking with our team, “Save the Ta-Tas,” organized and assembled for our Elizabeth.  Better known as Bethy, my sister.

We walked . . . Our team, “Save the Ta-Tas,” walked with more than 12,000 others to raise funds for cancer research, education and patient services.  One of our local newspapers, the Albany Times Union, reported that the 2009 Making Strides Against  Breast Cancer event that took place on Sunday, October 18th here in Albany, raised more than $1 million.  How how cool is that?!

Here's my Pa, Bethy and Conrad, Saving the Ta-Tas!

Here's my Pa, Bethy and Conrad, Saving the Ta-Tas!

It was an emotional event, as many participants walked “in memory of” or “to honor” someone close.  Our team was comprised of family and friends.  All of us have been touched by breast cancer in some way.  We walked to celebrate our survivor – my sister, Bethy – and to raise funds for those who come after and find themselves with a breast cancer diagnosis.  Our contribution makes a difference.  Any contribution makes a difference.

save-the-tatas-dsc01075

As we walked - more than once tears percolated to surface - we celebrated and counted our blessings.

The Wisdom in Pumpkin Carving

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
We all stand with pride gazing at our prized pumpkins each of us thinking our really is the best.

At the end of the day we all stand gazing at our prized pumpkins with great pride.

My sister and her husband (Bethy & Conrad) have been hosting an annual Pumpkin Carving party for more years than I can recall.  It’s always a much anticipated event for me.   It’s one of those events that creates wonderful memories for every generation of family and friends in attendance.  It’s a BYOP (Bring Your Own Pumpkin) affair with food, drink and laughter in abundance.

Each year brings back memories of the previous year’s gathering.  Last fall the carving party was hosted by my brother, Patrick.  His son was home on leave from Afghanistan and my sister, Bethy, had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.  It seems hard to believe it was just one year ago and sounds so simple, these life changing events, condensed into just a single, short paragraph.

Now one year later Chris is back from Afghanistan and Bethy has just passed her first “three month check,” after a lumpectomy, eight torturous rounds of chemotherapy plus weeks and weeks of radiation.  One year later Chris will be home and Bethy’s hair has begun to grow back into a beautiful curly top of silver.

I’ve learned that life can change in a moment.  Just when you’re looking to the north, life drags you south.  One moment joy, one moment testing, one moment laughter, one moment grief.  I’ve found that the best way for me to deal with all this uncertainty is by faith.   Faith in God, faith in family, faith in friends, faith that in the next moment things will be different.   One important thing to remember is - wherever life takes you there are decisions to be made and not making a decision is a decision.

This year as we gathered again at Bethy and Conrad’s it was more than just carving pumpkins.   I suppose it always was more than carving pumpkins.  But this year as we all stood around the table in the cool autumn air, vibrant foliage creating a perfect backdrop, we carved our orange squash, first hollowing, then designing and finally remembering last year when things were so uncertain.

I know that life can be tough at times and the best we can do is pick the perfect pumpkin, lovingly carve it and once done place it on the stoop with all the rest and wait for sundown.

At the end of the night as we gaze at our prized pumpkins, each with a warm glow streaming from all the right spots, we stand side-by-side telling each other how nice their pumpkin looks and what a great job they did . . . supportive, loving and together.

Thank God for pumpkins.

Bald Eagle Siting

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

Thursday morning on my way to work I spotted an American Bald Eagle. I’ve never seen one in the “wild” before - only at the zoo in a cage.  What an awesome sight.   I was astonished and pulled the car over so I could (more…)

So Many Goodbyes

Friday, June 26th, 2009

There have been too many goodbyes this week.   Some I felt I knew personally, but didn’t - Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson - and one I met a time or two, but didn’t know at all either - Sue.  Three taken by cancer and one, they say, from cardiac arrest.

Sue died on Saturday.   She was a friend of a friend and we’d only met a couple of times, briefly.  I didn’t know her at all really except that she was fighting cancer and wearing a wig to cover her head balded from the chemotherapy.   Though Sue was living in the shadow of cancer, she still seemed to be determined to enjoy her life, socializing with friends, laughing, chatting and dancing.  This is all I really knew about Sue.  She was an acquaintance, but when I found out she died on Saturday, I began to cry.

And now the others we’ve lost - famous and familiar.  Their stories so public that I needn’t rehash them here.

I cry for those we’ve lost, for those left here to grieve and for the mere fragility and shortness of life here on this earth.

As I’ve gotten older I think more about my own mortality and how important it is to solidify my faith and personal beliefs.  And now seeing these familiar faces pass onto their next journey it prompts another round of taking stock and determining just what is important and a setting of priorities.  Even more than that though, living each day as if your life depends upon it and doing your very best while treating others with love and kindness.

I know this is an uncomfortable subject, but death is a part of living and living in fear keeps us in bondage by limiting our experiences.  My beliefs and philosophies about life are still being molded through study, reading and experience, but each day I become more certain that God is real.

I believe life should be lived with joy and gusto and the challenges that are thrown your way should be met with determination, perseverance and courage.  Each one of us is here to help the other if needed.

I’ll try not to dwell on all this loss, but I do consider this a reminder to make the very most of every moment.

Powered by WordPress • Blog by: J.E.G. Design, Inc.