As I look back over the few blog posts I wrote in June it’s obvious that I have been absent.   Absent not only from blogging, but absent from other things - painting, drawing, interacting in my world and, most importantly, dreaming.

Just a few days ago my sister mentioned, with concern, that perhaps I’d been putting my life on hold while waiting for the sale of our house.  I denied it immediately, of course, pointing out all I’d been doing, which in truth was no more than a bare minimum.

It seems my sister may be right - I have been putting my life on hold waiting for an event that I hope will trigger a new way of living.  This approach to “living” is not really living at all, but passing time while waiting. Putting everything on hold has made the waiting harder.

Truth is I don’t know when or if our house will sell.   In this economic climate it seems we’re all doing a bit of waiting and perhaps this is good lesson to bring into my future.   Patience and restraint are admirable traits.  As is marching forward without knowing with assurance where exactly you will end up.  Hmm…. I suppose that behavior could be called faith.   But nothing can be gained by allowing myself to linger in a place of non-action.

Today is July 4th (Independence Day) and I am blessed to live in a country where we have the freedom to choose.  We can choose a direction and pursue whatever dreams we may possess.  But laying down and giving up while waiting for some outside event to change things will never work.  If I truly intend to live the life of my choosing then today I need to proclaim a new beginning and exercise this gift of freedom.

So… on this July 4th it’s time to proclaim my independence and proceed into the future while remembering to exercise patience, restraint, faith and when all those fail me I will listen to the counsel of a good friend.

Happy Independence Day!

Penny...

Well, the vet finally called late last Friday afternoon.  I was on my way home from work and had all but lost hope he’d be calling at all.   Perhaps he was miffed that I’d interjected my own personal diagnosis to his receptionist based on some Internet research I’d done.

In my defense, if I had received a return call promptly I would not have resorted to doing my own research online, but watching helplessly as Penny struggled to get around …  well something had to be done.

In any case, it seems Penny’s thyroid numbers have declined since her last blood workup in February.  I’ve been giving her the prescribed medication  since Saturday and am waiting to see if that’s the only thing that is ailing her.

My diagnosis was different and much more serious.  I’m hoping it is the thyroid and that Penny will be on the mend very soon.  We’ll see and I’ll keep you posted.

Penny in better days.

Penny is still about the same - very weak - and what makes this situation even more frustrating is the fact that I haven’t gotten an answer from the vet in spite of my many phone calls.

This lack of response from the vet’s office has prompted me to do a little Internet searching of my own and I believe I may have stumbled on a possible condition that “fits” Penny’s symptoms precisely.   This knowledge has put me into a bit of a which predicament.  Why, if I can find a possible answer so quickly, am I still waiting to hear from the professionals?

Penny is my “kid” and one of the kindest most gentle creatures I’ve ever met.  I understand that everyone is busy these days, but finding my vet’s office not making her the priority at a time when she needs them most maddens me beyond measure.

I’m pushing for an answer and teetering between tears and ire!

Penny

I took Penny to the vet today.  According to the doctor, Penny is a “senior dog.”  I knew that - she’s 12 years 8 months old - but hearing it in those terms made me feel more unsettled than I already was.  Penny’s birthday is the same day as my mother - October 6th.

I remember the day we brought Penny home from the pet store.  We adopted her with our hard-earned cash in a spontaneous and impulsive act.    She was too cute to resist and filled with energy.   We bought a tie-dyed leash, a bright pink collar and she pranced out of the store, all three or so pounds of her.   What cutie!

Without having investigated the temperament, disposition and intelligence of the Beagle breed in advance, all it took was the cute for me to say, “Yes, we’ll take her.”

Over the years Penny has tested my patience and made me wonder whether I was even cut out to be a pet owner.   The responsibility, the shedding, the piddle, the poop and with Beagles their intelligent, stubbornness tested my resolve and more than once I heard myself say, “What’s the number of that Beagle rescue organization?!”   In the end Tom persuaded me to stick with her and in the end I’ve received more than I’ve given times ten!

So as Penny and I headed into the vet’s office this morning sadness is coupled with hope that the vet will figure out just what is making Penny so weak.   Penny is unable to walk any significant distance, her short stocky legs can hardly hold her upright, but her appetite is still intact.   That is a good thing.

After being poked, prodded and thoroughly examined Penny and I head for the door to await the blood work and urine test results.    The waiting room - to our left - was filled with  a lively yellow lab named Lucky and a furry, brown teddy bear mixed breed with a wagging tail and an enthusiastic pull on this leash.

Surprisingly, Penny pulled a bit on her leash as well just to get near “Teddy” and share a sniff collapsing briefly on the floor.   I helped her to her feet and she continued to shuffled toward Teddy.  As their noses touched Penny’s tail began to wag.  It was at that moment I realized that I hadn’t seen it do so in quite some time.

With that realization the tears began to come in front of a room full of strangers.

Grace

Last weekend was my nephew, Jeremy, and Andrea’s wedding.  My granddaughter, Grace, was asked to be  their flower girl about a year or so ago.  Truthfully, her parents were asked and they consented with a disclaimer.  Grace would be only 20 months old on their wedding day and anything could happen.

Last Saturday was sunny and hot with excitement filling the air.  In typical wedding festivity fashion there was satin, flowers and crinoline all around.   Gracie was paired up with a sweet young man who was serious and proficient in his duties as the ring bearer.  During rehearsal the night before the nuptials the two of them “clicked” and after several successful dry runs down the aisle it seemed possible that Grace would be the best flower girl ever!

Many kudos go to Michael and Kathy for preparing Grace for the event, but even with the most meticulous preparations little kids are unpredictable.  Who could have predicted that Grace would walk down the aisle with nearly 200 onlookers, smile at just the right moment for her pic with the bride and groom and then dance the night away in her mother and father’s arms until late into the night all without complaint.

What a kid!  That’s my granddaughter Grace in case you don’t already know!

to keep this house clean enough.  Since we listed our house for sale in late April there exists a possibility from day-to-day that some potential buyer may be interested enough to come take a look.  It’s this possibility that makes keeping the house in some kind of order a priority.  What pressure.

Truthfully I’m a bit of a slob.  Not a horrible, neglectful messy person, but I like my stuff nearby and ready for use.  Not tucked away from view so the house can be visualized by some “potential buyer.”  Not “staged” or immaculate.  Just lived in, as a house should be.

So this morning I need to tidy up a bit and wait.  This economy has made potential buyers scarce, but I need to be ready for that one person who wants a country home such as this.  Until then I intend to live here and be messy, but ready to neaten up at a moment’s notice.

Dancing Daisys, Watercolor Sketch

Sex and the City 2 was released last Thursday and I’m a real fan!  I was a fan of the series and a fan of the first movie.  We all are -  we the girls -  and we’ve been waiting with great anticipation for the release of this second movie.

As with any sequel there’s a risk and when I heard a good share of the movie was set in Abu Dhabi (although I believe the actual filming was done in Morocco) I was concerned.   To me “the City” is one of the primary characters with second billing only to the sex, of course.   It’s just that the Abu Dhabi thing made me skeptical – could they “jumping the shark” with this one?  Then when I heard the movie had been panned by the critics… well I became even more apprehensive and then convinced the movie would be horrible!  The critics said so after all.

A slew of bad reviews would not keep us away so we – the girls and Daddy – settled in to get the latest installment of Sex and the City last Friday night.   Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte feel like personal friends.  What’s more I enjoy watching beautiful, aging actresses who are still pushing the envelope.  The dialogue is outrageous and funny, touching and thought provoking.  What a treat to find the critics (in my opinion) were wrong.

I’m hoping they’ll continue to make sequels of Sex and the City for years to come and next time I won’t be told what to think in advance!

negligent |ˈnegləjənt|
adjective
failing to take proper care in doing something

Yes, that describes my behavior for the past week or so.   I’ve been negligent in my blogging, painting and generally neglectful of a multitude of day-to-day tasks choosing instead to watch the boob-tube and nap.

I was talking to a friend tonight about personal energy - where we spend it and how we refill our tanks.  That’s when it hit me, I’ve been spending more personal energy than I’ve been depositing.  What’s more (duh) my energy deposits come from those very things that I’ve been neglectful of - blogging (writing), painting, gardening and believe it or not - housework, i.e., laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.

I hadn’t realized just how low my energy reserves had gotten until yesterday when just before eight I was ready to turn in for the night and did!  Had I forced myself into the art room I’ve no doubt that the creativity there would have fueled me into the night with resources to spare.  Sounds like a little self-discipline (what’s that?) would have come in handy here.

Now that I’ve recognized and acknowledged my misstep I’ll be more viligant and watchful in the future.  I know that the energy I need is renewable and comes from God’s gifts.  Next time I just need to remember to tap into those resources before I’ve run out of gas!

The week Penny and I spent with Wilson and Murray flew by and before I knew it Friday was here. As I’d anticipated Bethy and Conrad returned home sometime during the day while I was at work. I’d planned to scoot over at the end of the day, pick up my stuff and Penny then head home - not wanting to intrude on the happy travelers homecoming.

But in true Bethy and Conrad style - just as I was welcomed at the beginning of the week with notes, a soft bed and fully-stocked kitchen - upon their return I was encouraged to stay a while. So I did.

Over a couple of cold beers and hot pizza we each shared our week. Theirs was spent in Ogunquit, Maine one of their favorite getaway spots and a place I hope to visit in the fall. Their unhurried stay at the ocean sounded like a little bit of heaven and I enjoyed hearing of the experience through their remembrances.

The funny thing is without realizing it Bet and Conrad were in two places at once. In Maine, yes, but also at home extending their usual generous and welcoming hospitality to me. I wish everyone could have such people their lives. People who make you feel loved and of value even when their not around. Opening their home and sharing all they are and all they have.

I stayed one last night and slept soundly way past sunrise. In the morning over coffee we talked on about the week just past and then headed into the gardens - working together until around noon when I reluctantly loaded the car and headed for home.