Pasture Pals, Pencil - I've tried to paint and draw these guys several times. Each attempt ended up in the trash. Not this time. I was determined to give it my best effort at this moment in time.

As you know I’ve been struggling lately while trying to restart my creativity. Though I did paint one day last week, that’s hardly enough to stay motivated and reach my personal goals. I think it’s time to ask a few questions.

What the heck is going on here?   What are the reasons I’m feeling stuck, immobilized and unable to focus? Why have I been avoiding that which provides me the most inner peace and personal enjoyment? I know that art is my oasis and always provides a temporary escape from my day-to-day problems. Without it I’m left feeling desperate and lacking in confidence. I need to get back into a groove soon - very soon - so I ask myself again, “What the heck is going on?

Who knew I would find a partial answer to my questions last Thursday night when I visited my sister (Bet) and brother-in-law (Conrad) after work. Conrad has just begun to draw - having always possessed artistic ability - he has finally the time to tap into all that he is capable of. His first sketch - a little colt - came out great and his second and third equally good! With pencil in hand he’s tackling portraiture and animals without fear. Watching his enthusiasm and tenacity has made me realize that I’ve fallen into the habit of playing it safe. Could this - playing it safe thing - be one of the reasons that I am finding it difficult to restart? Perhaps.

And then another piece of my puzzle was revealed this weekend as I watched the Olympics in Vancouver. All these dedicated athletes, fit and ready to compete. They didn’t make it to Vancouver by chance. These spirited athletes are devoted, determined and hardworking. Certainly there have been times of self-doubt, but these ordinary people possess an extra something that helps them to achieve at this high level. What’s more in after-competition interviews I observed a common thread in many of these athlete’s remarks. Doing their personal best seems to have been the driving force. Yes, winning was important, but it seems to be secondary to giving their best performance at this moment in time. I see no place in Vancouver for fear and self-doubt. Could it be that my lack of dedication is feeding my fear and self-doubt? Could be.

I believe we all have great potential inside us and a responsibility to tap into and use our gifts.  But yet we are human with all that implies.   This is where the leaning on and learning from one another comes into the picture.  From Conrad, with his novice’s enthusiasm, I am learning that the only limits are the limits we impose on ourselves.  Through Conrad I am remembering a time when there was less fear associated with my art.  Through Conrad I remember that discovery in art is everything, but in order to discover you must first explore.

And then from these Olympic athletes I am reminded that while everyone cannot “Win the Gold” there’s no shame in showing up and competing. Through these athletes I am reminded that there are no shortcuts to success. Through these athletes I am reminded that our lessons are found on the journey as well as in the competition and while taking home a medal is nice, it’s not all there is.

Here's a glimpse of my process, which includes a good reference photo, loads of pencils (B's and H's) plus my trusty eraser. All these things helped me to push past the frustration and finish. I'm pleased.

I know it’s time to open my eyes to new things and start flexing different creative muscles. No more giving up and giving in. It’s time to explore new creative frontiers. It’s time to remove any self-imposed limits and toss out that play-it-safe attitude.

I can now see why the restarting has been so difficult. My well of artistic inspiration was filled with the same thing day after day. Staying with the safe has derailed my creative desire. It’s no wonder I couldn’t get restarted. I’d made my creative world too small when in truth my artistic world should be filled with endless possibilities.

The athlete and the novice have so much to teach and I am a willing student with so much to learn. Today I intend to move out of my comfort zone, reaching, striving and willing. No fear.