As I was on my way home from work today I realized that I feel happy and content in my circumstances. This unexpected realization started me thinking. You see in the past I have spent a lot of time wishing my life were different, complaining about my long commute, lack of financial resources and bawling about just wanting to paint. Many mornings I was just plain angry about the injustice of it all. What an ungrateful crybaby I was being.
But something has happened recently and I don’t feel so discontented anymore. Nothing has changed really. Or has it? Let’s see…I still have a long commute, I’m not rolling in the dough and I squeeze in the art when I can. But still… something has to be different. But what?!
Maybe, just maybe, it’s a combination of subtle changes in my behavior and the power of God’s hand blessing my effort. You see I know that I am truly blessed to have decent job to drive to every day. Nowadays in the morning I listen to Joyce Meyer, Sid Roth and Family Life Today on the radio. I used to listen to some morning jocks blather on about this and that… boring! Who knew that all it would take is a small adjustment on my radio dial to make my morning commute seem incredibly shorter.
As for my finances, I’m still not “rolling in it” but I have enough money to pay the bills and keep food on the table. They’ll be no extravagant shopping sprees or vacations but I don’t need those things in order to be happy anyway. I get stressed out when I’m away from home for any length of time and truthfully there’s no place I’d rather be than hunkered down in my humble abode.
Another small adjustment has been made to my evening schedule. Where in the past I’d lounge around on the couch, eating like a manic and watching trash on the television, these days I don’t even turn the thing on unless it’s to see the next installment of Downton Abbey. Without the TV on I have plenty of time to write on my blog, which has been a great cathartic tool. Add to that my completing a bunch of half-finished drawing and painting projects and well… I feel good about how I’m designing my days and nights. It’s good, very good.
But I think the icing on the cake, the thing that has had the most profound impact on my life lately is my daily conversations with God, studying the Bible (the iPhone Bible App is great) and my attending church on Sundays to listen to Pastor Ken’s teaching sermons.
I can see that all these things working together have made my life happier, more at peace and more purposeful. I suspect as I continue down this good road that God’s plan for my life will be revealed. I think of it now and know that all the anger and discontentment was shutting out any potential for happiness and peace. I am eternally grateful for these days so transformed from my previous existence. I am blessed beyond measure.